I feel distant all the time, it’s like I’m there but not really. I can sit for an hour just looking staight ahead. I’m so split in my mind between eating and restricting. It’s horrible. I hate myself all day long. All the time. I have to check myself constantly. I avoid going outside. But school starts soon so wtf?? When I’m outside I check myself even more, I’m obsessed.. I check myself in mirrors, windows, the reflection in everything… And I have to redo my make up aswell…
I swore to stop being like this, so obsessed and horrible.. Disgusting. I change my outfit atleast 5 times every morning and I cover my face with make up.. I just wish I could disappear… I preach about accepting your body, feminism, animal rights, believing in that beauty is on the inside and so on…. But I’m such a hypocrit…Fake. Horrible. Fat. Disgusting. Ugly. Bitchy. Mean. And on top of that my stomach is acting up again, it gets bloated really easily. Does any one else have this problem?
